and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
