Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize