She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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