I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We are all done wearing pants today
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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