I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
