Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I believe in your delicious
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
