Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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