Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
