Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
