I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
