Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
