She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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