A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
