Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
