Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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