I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
