she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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