Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
