butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
