After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize