who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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