Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
