I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
