Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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