a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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