Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
