how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize