Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
