I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
