We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
