Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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