I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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