Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
