i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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