so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
