someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We had to coat check the pizza.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
