so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
