I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
