Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
my sisters under your porch take her home
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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