you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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