I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
