PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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