Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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