Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
