So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
