Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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