More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
