This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize