if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I puked a lego.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Randomize
