Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
no more duck duck goose at the bar
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize