Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
