do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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