Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize