I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
