OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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