but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
