i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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