Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
