i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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