69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
