Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
