fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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