If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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