There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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