I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
the gays at disneyland are vicious
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
