So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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